A very long time ago I decided I didn't want to have children.I think this was a reaction to my environment and probably from hearing my mother explaining to everyone of her aquiantences that having children was the worst decision she ever made. . . . . But she still 'loves' us-myself and my sister-of course.

As you know i come from a pretty shitty environment.I think due to my family not bothering to take any responsibility for their own lives they have developed the same characteristics as most of the human population.One of these being there willingness to blame but not to accept.This is the reason my mother despises me(not my sister though,because the two of them live in there own little bubble of arse licking co-dependency,for my mother to blame her would bring their whole delusional reality crashing down upon them,and we wouldn't want that now would we?!)So I get the blame for my mothers life turning out the way it has.Although she doesn't have much of an imagination(probably due to not putting anything interesting into her mind.Good stuff in=Good stuff out)and she doesn't have any will to do anything but spending her time in some bullshit minimum wage unskilled factory job.She hasn't left the country in all of her 52 years nor does she intend to.Nor does her pallete extend to much more than junk food.I question how else her life could of turned out??!!

I haven't really ever had much respect for my mother.probably because she has very little for herself.From a young age making the decision not to have children was based upon not wanting my life or any prospective childrens life to end up in the sorry state my mothers-or my fathers,or any menber of my families-has.

As my awareness has grown,as has my thought processes and from these I have chosen to stick to my decision but for differing reasons.

Iv'e been in a relationship with my present partner for nearly 9 months now.Over the course of that period we have discussed our futures and how our present paths and choices in life can effect this individually and also as a couple.

One of these discussions raised the question of children.I'm sure you can already guess my answer to this.My reasons being(if not a little elaborated from the original reaction)are as follows. . . . .

I feel that this world is already populated enough with our species.If anything I believe that the ability to have children freely,as we can,should be monitored.

For example,
1)taking the minimum age for legal copulation to 18
2)Thouroughly educating both sexes on the subject.(classes that should be just as compulsory as Maths or English-or which ever language the country of origin speaks predominatly.
3)Making abortions compulory to any woman under the age of 18.Regardless or religious or cultural beliefs.

Anyway-getting sidetracked.
I believe that people are not capable of truely growing unless they have suffered adversity or hardship.This doesn't mean to say that this on it's own will help you to develop.It's how we percieve that hardship that determines whether it 'makes us stronger'.

'Can't see the light until you have been in the dark'

Based on this assumption I believe that bringing a child into this world and then giving that child as much of this or that as possible will NOT enable it to grow.

I have heard on countless occasions new or aspiring parents ranting on about giving their child'a better life than they had' or so on and so forth.These people -just as my parental units-decided against taking responsibility for themselves and are therefore making their children their need to live.Distracting themselves with these little dependant lives in order for them not to have to bother with their own.It's procrastination,pure and simple.Their childrens lives will only be better if they get up of there arses any bother to make their own decisions instead of just doing the done thing-their child I mean,the parents life is already in tatters.

. . . . rinse repeat . . .and thus the circle of life.

I personally don't have the heart to raise a child and make the damn thing completely miserable in order fot it to learn,to develop.I wouldn't wish the life I have had on anyone,even less so something of my own flesh and blood,something that has shared my life so completely.

I am a cynic.I am a realist.I am a misanthropist.

The skills I have are skills I have learned through experience.They can't be learned through a book.They can't be taught.

To feel I have the knowledge to raise a child is ironic to say the least if I am still a child.A case of the blind leading the blind I think.

In order to bring a child into this world and teach it to question the world around it would result in it questioning it's own existence and my reasons for bringing it into this world.Also,I would be the one questioning making the decision in the first place.

How can a consciousness grow if the only reason for it's existence is to satisfy the natural-almost viral urges-of it's predesessor?at least my parents can use the excuse of ignorance.I am here because of their ignorance.

Reproduction is an entirely selfish act.Not just the sex but the consequences of that too.I am just not that selfish.

This isn't just a case of the self.This is also a case of the majority,the global population.Especially in this time of planetry distress.Every new life is another drain on our collective environment.On our resourses.on our collective consciousness.For how are we expected to grow,to evolve if all we are taught is to destroy.To fuck.To die.

There is much more to say on this subject but I have neither the time or the will at this moment.